Today I'm at my wit's end. Several older friends have had or have illnesses, some worse than others. I have battled with an illness for the last year. I think to myself, "God's got it under control". I supposedly have "faith" that it will all work out, but do I really believe it? Today it all came to a head when I got a call about a young friend who is really sick. I really don't understand any of this nor do I like it at all. People always ask why and for good reason. No, God does not want us to worry. He wants us to trust Him when things go wrong, but that doesn't mean He doesn't understand us and how we work. Bad things happen in life, and no, we don't understand. The two most powerful words in the Bible or even in all language are "but God". But God is there with us to help us through pain. But God comforts us. But God gives us strength. But God brings us to Himself.
It's never easy and for awhile I thought it was. Just trust, just have faith. But God gave us emotions for everyday life, our ups and our downs and our sideways too. I am an emotional person and either let everyone know it when the emotion comes or I stuff it and call it faith, then I really let everyone know all at once---all my emotions. Picture that if you will. Not a pretty picture, huh? In my life lately there have been a lot of troubles, mostly with illnesses and when we don't understand what's going on we sometimes doubt. Honestly, I don't doubt God's plan, I just don't understand it, but I have doubted before and so do many others.
I guess what I'm trying to get across is this; though it says in the Bible not to worry or doubt and count it all joy when we suffer, we still wonder why and don't understand, but God does know why and He understands it all. My heart is heavy with all that is going on, but I do trust Jesus will be there when we need Him. I may cry a little, but knowing that I can count on Jesus, gives me hope.
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