Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Waiting For the Unknown
I have been waiting for seven months for a diagnosis for my brain and spinal cord. See, I was born with a disorder that was about to cripple me in my mid-thirties, ultimately leaving me as a vegetable. I had surgery and it took care of it, so I thought. That was in 1998, when I was diagnosed. Now move up to 2011, November. I have some sort of episode that leaves common ER staffs baffled. I tell them I have a disorder and they just look at me like I'm on drugs or am crazy. I found a neurologist to help me find out what is going on. I think to myself, "Could it be the same disorder? Could it be a tumor? I worry to death about it. At first I thought I had a stroke or a seizure of sorts, when I had my episode. Come into the future even more to the present actually. It's June 2012. Seven months I've been waiting for an answer. Will I have to take medication or have surgery again? Thoughts flashed in my mind. Two things that come to mind are waiting and the unknown. We wait for the unknown when we go through an illness that we know is there, but can't pin it down. Jeremiah 29:11 has something for us going through the unknown. "I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." We wait. Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
Faith is a big step that we take when we are waiting for the unknown. We have a broken relationship, that may not be able to be fixed. We have a health crisis. We have a financial crisis. Whatever the case may be, we MUST have faith. It doesn't take much, but we need it. God is the one who is in control when things seems out of control. He ultimately has the final decision. Can we wait for Him on His next move? Can we trust? Can we have faith? Tomorrow I find out either what my neurological problem is, or if I need more tests. The unknown awaits. "Be anxious for nothing", Philippians says, but is it easy? Take it to the Lord in your prayers and do not worry about a thing. Like I said yesterday, enjoy the ride and let God handle it. I always have said that I don't want to be God because I don't want the responsibility, but, I take the problems in my own hands as if I am God and can deal with them as God. We aren't God and can't be God, at anytime, and yes, He does have a great responsibility. I really don't want it. When things look bleak, or the unknown creeps up on you, remember, God has a plan and sometimes we have to wait awhile for it to come to be. So, sit back and enjoy the ride, as I have said before. Watch what God can do. No one knows tomorrow any more than we would in our troubles. We live one day and enter eternity the next. Have faith, and wait for the unknown. I've always liked suspense, so why not in my life?
*Note: Something went wrong with the fonts in my second paragraph. Sorry for the change. Have a great day!